Chronicles Of HDB Dwellers. part deux

Since the new year is coming, community clubs (not centres, it now clarbs okay, dunch play play) are starting to hold block parties. Parties at the void decks are not uncommon and occur almost once every two months and if your in a happening HDB estate maybe even once every month. It's cheap too, usually free or the sit down dinners cost less than 20 dollars. All of them celebrate with many reasons and it's a common trend among CCs to join alot of reasons to celebrate. A few examples

- Children's Day cum Racial Harmony Art Competition
- Deepavali cum Fire Safety Awareness Exhibition
- Mid-Autumn Festival cum Crime Prevention Celebration

Maybe they are on a tight budget and have to combine two activities into one. They always like to use the word CUM, cum this cum that, prize giving cum buffet. Everything lah! Why can't they just use AND?

Today was even better with three activities combined into one. Christmas cum New Year cum Old Folks Karaoke competition. Three leh! not the normal two and like all CC parties they never celebrate it on the actual day, it's always a few days late or early. In case you don't know what goes on at the void deck here are some things they usually have

1. Food. It's a kampung thing that everyone contributes. Usually bee hoon, fish balls, nuggets, fried rice and the always well received chicken wings. No beer though and everything is buffet.

2. Competition. "Cuz we all is kiasu, everything must be win" be it Childrens Art Competiton, old folks Karaoke Challenge and cooking competitions. They are really fun and everyone eventually ends up winning, there are prizes for every participant.

3. Songs. Usually in Malay, Indian, Chinese, English and the most often heard are dialects especially Hokkien. Usually sung by the resident crooner. The one in my area can't even make it to the first auditions of Singapore Idol, but she is entertaining nonetheless. Her cover of Teresa Teng's Tian Mi Mi, very emotional, sometimes I even hum along.

4. Lucky Draw. In the west they call it a Raffle but my grandma calls it a "Lar Kie Dlaw". Prizes consist of simple home appliance like toasters, kettles and the much coveted Electric Steamboat (wahhhhh) and food hampers.

One thing i don't like is the song choices they make. Not one time will they not fail to play or sing Selly Yeh song. PLEASE sing more Tian Mi Mi please. In case you don't know what song it is I managed to record the ending of it with my handphone.

Download here. Warning, listening to this may cause trauma to the ears for at least one week as you hum along to the addictive emotional tune.

Apeh's standard is to sit outside and "enjoy the show" they never go in until the last part where the loud yam sengs start. YAMMMMMMMMMM yammm yamm yammmmmm Yammmmmmmmmmm SENG!

Chronicles Of HDB Dwellers.

My Bro and I were in the lift today when we detected this funky smell of puke. The stench smelt fresh and the floor was still wet and probably mopped not too long ago. It was at around 10am so we guessed it was most likely breakfast puke. I came up with a story inspired by traffic jams and bad breakfast. My bro says it sounds plausible, please note that all names of characters are made up. Xiao Ming is the standard chinese name I give to all my male protaganist in my F-grade chinese essays.

The Boy, The Puke and The HDB Lift.

Xiao Ming and his parents woke up real early today at 5.30am. They were going to JB to celebrate the new year and wanted to avoid the hellish traffic jam on the causeway.

"Quick! Xiao Ming eat your breakfast!" Mummy says as she hands over a plate of sandwichs and Milo breakfast cereals to the 7 year old Rosythian (cuz i live opposite Rosyth Primary School). Xiao Ming rushes through and finishes his sandwich in three bites. He gobbles his cereal while playing the lastest version Pokemon on his Nintendo DS. All is completed in one fierce battle with a wild Charmander (cuz it's my favourite Pokemon) and Xiao Ming rushes to get his shoes on. He is the last to leave the house as their maid straps him up with his bag pack.

Mummy is waiting at the lift and so Xiao Ming runs to please the faux-Gucci decked housewife. While in the lift he lets out a cough but his mouth is closed. His cheeks start to swell and his eyes tell you he is running out of breath. The strong willed Xiao Ming cannot hold it any longer, the puke has over-floweth.

Whats goes in last comes out first.
The milo cereal
Then the sandwiches
and then the surprise cup noodles which Daddy let Xiao Ming try the night before without Mummy's permission. Tsk tsk

Daddy stops using his bluetooth headset and looks on with concern, Mummy wipes away the little bits of vomit on her Malaysian Guccci (with one extra C). Xiao Ming cries while Daddy begins to clean Xiao Ming's mouth off the noodle bits. They don't scold him, no, they are nice parents and being the good natured community caring couple, they call up the maid at home to mop up the place.

Poor Maria, she was gonna take a day break and enjoy herslef with her fellow off day maids at Lucky Plaza. All dressed up in the standard jeans and t-shirt, she sadly grabs the mop and forgets to get the bottle of Ajax liquid Soap. No wonder the lift still smells. She meets up with family at the lobby as she puts on a fake smile and waves off to Xiao Ming which she will definitely not carry his school bag to school anymore.

The End.

Help!

This song just ran through my head while I was running just now (get it? Ran thru? Someone stop me please). 2005 feels like 3 years crammed into one, seriously if you asked what I did in January, I really don't remember. First it was Tekong, my island in the sun (if not for all the work it's really a nice place) then it was NUH which was a hectic experience than came Uni life....that one cannot describe in one post.

As a reflection on 2005, I guess what I realised more than anything else this year is that I can't go through all this alone. Jon is no one man show, although he would like to be one.

I need people to hear me out, I need people for advice and I seriously need help in my Archi stuff, I need people to hear my bitching/complaining/"kao peh"ing, I need people to need me, I need help cause I'm going to be 22 soon and that is 2x11 which is blardy old, I need someone proficient in the art of Traditional Balinese Massage to give my legs a good rub down, I need someone to share my angst when I get the rare emo thing(or when I'm drunk). I need HELP!

For next year I will cut down seeking solace in running, watching TV or my beloved 64bit processor and start talking to people, Jon is going to be more open to people, yes I mean PEOPLE, let me spell it our for you P I P P L E. No I'm not going to have a major life makeover, I just want to improve on the way things are, I don't think I can remain Jon of 2005 all the time, everyone changes whether you like it or not. Cheers to that!

Actually I wanted to include just a chorus of this song but heck everything in it seems to make sense now. I give you the lyrics to the first song from the Help!(UK) movie soundtrack.

The Beatles - Help!

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these daya are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

They Bring Good Tidings

Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

It started to drizzle at the the 2.5km point and then it rained like nobody's business. Instead of stopping I decided to carry on. Sure the drops were cold and hard, your vision gets blurred from the moisture, your shoes get soggy but heck it's been ages since i ran in the rain. I guess the last time was with nNazim from fong seng back to studio in the middle of the night.

I feel like a kid again, this so cliche.......but heck it's shiok, beyond shiok, shiok is an understatement for the fun you get running when everyone else is hiding under their umbrella. The only person who had just as much fun was a little girl in her tiny raincoat jumping in the puddles despite her mum's disuassion. Suddenly i feel so free! woohoo!

The laptop plays "Why Does It Always Rain On Me by Travis" (while i dry my shoes)

Jon's Alter Ego Speaks

Finally I get to speak! While Jon is half drunk with cheap red wine and bloated with BBQ goodies I, his alter ego, have decided to take over for the day. I have alot of things to say about Jon, before i start to break down and do a fight club-ish thing, i need to speak HIS mind in this lame but easy to read list.

1. Jon has yet to take his driving lesson! What a loser! He's procrastinating! Why? I don't know why. He lives a few bus stops away from ssdc and yet he's too lazy. GET UP! I wanna drive!

2. Jon picked up his camera this month. FINALLY! That sexy piece of metal and glass....oooo I miss the seductive sound of the shutter so much. I call that SLR my BMF (Big M___ F___) , shhh.....don't tell Jon. I know he really wants a new one now, some Digital piece of crap, HEY! i prefer old skool! Chicks dig that retro stuff!

3. Jon got himself really burnt in Bali okay he had fun but I DID NOT! Why did he not take any pictures of the hot Japanese Babes?????? okay that receptionist was cute, so why no clearer pic? all he took was a lame ass darkshot!

4. Jon actually allowed the cancellation of his SCV sports channel. Loser! Now he can't watch Liverpool trash Newcastle lar!

5. Jon should just bid for his core modules and do three mods for next semester. Slack off a little and stop hanging out at the library cuz all the chicks are in Dentistry!

6. Spend less time online. loserish. Stop going Basheer and National Library, enough Kino and no Popular! That's all you did for the hols? Where are the hot chicks?

7. Can he just DON'T GIVE A DAMN to his grades and "cannot make it" cap score. Lousy than lousy lor.

8. Before he turns into a ball of lard, Jon needs to run more. Pretty loser of him to skip this year's marathon. So many pretty girls! wasted wasted....hai....

9. Jon found himself humming to "Sugarbabes-Push the Button" while running just now.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

10. Jon is a homophobe even though he denies it. He's okay with gays and all but the idea of it just makes his hair stand.

There! more dirty little secrets next time he gets semi-drunk.

Stop and Smell the Cocoa

After all the good food what everyone needs is this: Cookies and home brewed hot chocolate made with the best cocoa powder from a little spice garden in Bali.

Take a break alone, it's time to look back and be thankful for everything. Think of people around you and those you miss, the ones you let down, the ones you cheered up, those who made your day or didn't, those who changed your life in someway (good or bad) and everyone else. Thank you Lord for all things.

12 Things I REALLY Want for Christmas

So now you know what I really don't want. It's time put up the official list of 12.One thing to point out, I really like that t-shirt in no.3.

Here are the 12 things I REALLY want for Christmas. Some money can buy, some need more hope and some are just plain impossible. In an almost random mind-boggling particular order:

12. The end of all 1900 phone calls. Please enough of the "Yao Jiu Ling Ling....." It's getting on my nerves. Be it for charity of stupid chatlines, they both cheat you of your money. Donate through othermeans than by telephone.

11. The ability to ignore my sucky CAP score.

10. Suzanne Jung as the ONLY host for Primetime Morning and Primetime Morning to end at 6pm.

9. Nikon D2X








8. Attain pasta cooking enlightenment














7. No more terrorist/liars/murderers/people who think they are always right

6. Stop thinking your always right

5. More A1 paper and pencils

4. Music to be available to everyone and you shouldn't pay so much.

3. To have 5 twos in a Christmas wishlist

2. Tickets for everyone to watch Oasis on the 26/02/06!!!

2. Nikon d2X (yeah i know, i need to enforce this wish)

2. The ability to stop being tempted to get the new iPods or to stop production of new Ipods for at least one year. (I hear the iPod Zepto is coming, 68 years of music without playing the same song twice!)

2. A new sleeping bag

2. To be content with what I have (and not have) for example, I didn't get an A for design, i didn't get an A for building materials and i didn't get an F for History (for that I am deeply grateful for the invention of moderation, moderation rulez!)

1. Everyone to have a Merry Christmas.
Joy to everyone around you!

Only song on my playlist now

Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas Is You

City Shots

The last set before the new year. Enjoy! Merry Christmas Everyone!









on a semi drunkard sidenote:
I'm Semi Drunk

NUS first years: How to check Results?

Click here

I know i'm not alone on this one, here is the link to check your results. (Thanks for the link Louis!)

Seriously, I keep telling myself I don't care about results but the truth is I do, I'm afraid and damn worried and denial is just covering that fear.

Farg it man, no matter what it ain't gonna spoil my holidays.

Photo Diarrhoea

Head mashed, eyes are groggy, hands are tired. You start to see things differently and than you start clicking away with your lame camera phone. Clear signs of Photo Diarrhoea also known as Picture LS, Camera Menstruation, Visual Vomit, Lense Feaces, Film Stool and Kodak Crap. Just take a look

Don't try to make sense of any of them. They're not suppose to.

The Hair On My Fingers Are Standing

Was checking on my referrers statistics when I saw this.

"http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?q=pictures%20of%20hermoine%20naked&FORM=MSNH&srch_type=0"

What? someone actually types this? Ewww......

Hermoine? The fact that this guy( it better be a guy if not it would be more wrong than it already is) actually clicked on my link just makes my hair stand....ewww. Blame my entry on, Naked Chef, Lindsay Lohan as Hermoine and the constant posting of pictures. Smacks head, what have I done to get losers like him visit? no....

Shite, now some odd possibilities are running through my head. What if i get referrers from people who type these:

- "Bae Yong Jun Fan Club" (arghhhhhhhhhhhh)
- "Jay Chou fetish" (arghhhhhh)
- "Sadako groupies" (this is so illegal)
- "Boybands" (this one should be banned)

Early Christmas!

This is it! Thank You! Who wants to come? Heck if i have major submissions or crits during that day. Who wants???? I want standing 98 bucks! Please please please.

Irony of it all was I only knew about this on the plane back from Bali, the bombs there being one of the main reasons why Oasis cancelled their show here. Like a t-shirt i saw by a road stall "F*** Terrorist"! and "Osama is not a Surfer"!

"I'd like to be somebody else and not know where I've been
I'd like to build myself a house out of plasticine
Shake along with me"

Shakermaker
Noel Gallagher, Oasis

Shakermaker
Oasis

Hairless Beach Ape is Back

My fingers are burnt and I now have the worst tan on the universe. Can't type much cuz it hurts. Pics will do a better job now.

One of the Bomb blast sites, walking distance from the hotel. Once a very crowded pub, now just another unoccupied building. The place is like Orchard Road but with more hairless beach apes walking around, the beach is just 50 metres away! How shiok!

Siluet, The resident band at Hard Rock Cafe. They play the best cover of Keane's Somewhere Only We Know.

Lobster! Need i say more?

Cafe with the meanest Nasi Campur by the beach. Like Raffles Hotel but with hairless beach apes again.

Japanese hotel receptionist on the left. Most Kawaii on the island. The ang mohs just don't cut it for me. Sorry for the bad pic, i think she shy. (okay okay i was shy)

Mount Batu (sp?)

Bintang Beer taste like Anchor (in Indon it's called Anker)

Before the new year comes i need to get alot of things done and that's not just buying gifts Busy busy.

Top 10 Things That Jon Will Not Want For (This) Christmas!

well hello, dear readers of jonolist. while we're relaxing under the yellow crescent moon in the sky, Jon is also relaxing under the same yellow crescent moon in the sky. the only catch is that, he's in Bali now, so that leaves just me here to vandalise this precious blorg in his absence!! muahahaha. *evil laugh*

okay, you don't have to guess who i am, no no, no need to rack your brains for the answer (i can already hear those rusty gears clanking.). i didn't *gasp* blog-jack his blog! i will tell you who i am... now. are you ready? *ahem* i am.. that

cute
lovable
shiny
pretty
adorable
charming
sweet
entertaining
er... gentle
errr... winsome
errrrrr... okay whatever blahblahblah girl. lor.

:) big smile! say hello!! thank you thank you for your applause! hahaha.
(i'd better not regret agreeing to write this entry anytime in the future.)

alrighty. enough of my nonsense, eh? i'm just an innocent guest blorgger invited by Jon to fill up this space while he's gone on his holiday. (that twerp had better keep his promise and bring back a hot tanned and handsome guy back for me.) i'm better known as sadako when my hair is down, or more likely, as that mop of hair in the picture below:

horror movie

as we all know, Jon is an extremely capable student (capable in seducing my crushes), is an incredibly good cook (he makes a living tempting people with pictures of his homemade pasta in the middle of the night when everybody's too tired to get out of bed to whip up a meal), and never fails to dispense well-meaning advice to those who need it (he scolds me). and now he's not in Singapore! let's all rejoice! =D

on to our topic of the day. Jon, like the control freak he is, wants me to maintain the high standards that he's set on his blorg, so he made me write according to his wishes. so cruel hor. and he's not even paying me for it. hmph. anyway, today's topic is.... *drum roll*

Top 10 Things That Jon Will Not Want For (This) Christmas!

counting down..

10. Jon will not want to be domesticated like these guys!!
ntuc uncles
these unlucky guys, who are usually manly, were made to carry all the stuff while we girls strolled along behind. lucky us! (and luckily for me, all their backs were facing me, so none of them can sue me for slander because nobody can recognise them like that. haha.)

9. Jon will not want you to know what he's actually doing in this clip.
caught on camera!
to learn more about this, check back here again in the next few days. i will personally unearth, dissect and document Jon's se bei bei (perverted) habits.

8. Jon will not want to sit in a car that i'm driving in.
zoom zoom
*duh*. i haven't got my license yet haha...

7. Jon will not want a set of korean drama vcds/dvds.
summer scent
no, he does not want to watch sappy korean shows (unlike me), whether or not bae yong jun is acting in it. because he's jealous of bae yong jun's manly charms.

on the other hand, being the se bei bei that he is, he might just want the dvd to this:
untold scandal
(images courtesy of lan nhi.)

6. Jon will not want anything to do with boybands.
hot
if you ask me, he's just anal that he's not as popular as the pretty boys.
(image courtesy of mtvindia.)

5. Jon will not want these horoscope pooh bear soft toys.
poooh
aiyo, but so cute leh. :(
(image courtesy of creationscelebrations.)

4. Jon will not want these kawaii ne doggy hair clips.
clipclip
pity, cuz i think they'll suit him, no? =) imagine Jon with hair clips.... hm.

jon in the middle
oh look how pretty our dear Jon has become! (sorry lah, i too cheapskate, no money buy photoshop, but like that quite nice already right?) i can't imagine why he said doesn't want hairclips leh in his wishlist, i think he looks pretty good in 'em..
(hairclip image courtesy of klutziluv.)

3. Jon will not want this funny t-shirt.
chick magnet
you know why? because he (mistakenly) believes that he is so much more tanned and fit and muscular and trim and lean and blah blah blah than the guy featured on the shirt.
(image courtesy of teesnthings.)

2. Jon will not want Kleenex in boxes.
padding
he's too lazy to take em' out of the box before padding his bra, and therefore would like those that come with no boxes at all.
(image courtesy of frallans.)

1. Jon will definitely not want to see this:
click to enlarge
heh. need i say more?
(screenshot adaptation courtesy of nus.)

stay tuned! the next topic will be "12 Things That Jon Secretly Wants His Lover To Give Him"! lol. i hope he makes my death short and easy when he comes back... tata~

I feel RICH$$

I have more than half a million in my wallet now, that means Woohoo! Even if it is RUPIAH and about 90 bucks i really don't care. Bali Bali!, heard that after the bombings things are getting cheaper there, hopefully 500000 (that's 5 zeros!) would suffice. Shiokness!

While i'm gone, Geraldine aka AddictiontoDust, my studio mate has kindly taken over the role of blog sitter (and guardian of this universe) while i spend loads of rupiah on silly stuff. So nice of her. She promise to post pics but what pics i have no idea, hopefully I won't be in for a rude shock when i come back. So enjoy her entries while i laze on the beach and ogle at the ____(insert nationality of choice) girls. Adriel tells me posting pics of girls in bikinis will get me more hits, lest i sacrifice my integrity for fame, hmmmmm(checks camera batt).

Accompanied Adriel aka Primordium to a few places. He has a really neat idea of posting pictures of places that he frequent in 2005 (mainly water holes), I would have done the same too if hadn't spent most of it in the studio. At Holland Village, We had this really neat idea of making a montage of the shophouses. Here's my take! Adriel took the the other side.

Click on it to see a clearer view. Scwheet!