the one where jon visits the gym
Been doing alot of running lately and the knees were starting to hurt. Now before i go on i must explain that joint pain is a sign of old age and unfortunately not because of too much sex of which my softball coach used as a show-off excuse.
Furthermore it started to rain and ruined my plans to run my shorter/ah peh route. To continue my workout plan, I decided to go indoor. It's been two years since i last been to a gym and the ponch on my waist proves it. So I decided to head down to Yio Chu Kang Stadium's heartland gym, i think its called clubfitt or something. Its a nice place, mostly very experienced ah pehs and housewives, no techno music and everyone uses towels. My kinda gym, yes i know, it sounds sissy and all but i like my gym clean and friendly with less gym rats the better.
I remind you that the last time i gym-ed was at this very premise and damn it! Things have changed over two years. The moment i stepped in i could hear 98.7 blasting in the background and the place was filled with gym rats. The experienced ah pehs were around but they were out numbered by the large protein filled bodies attached to dumbbells. I guess most of these garang-types were from the nearby poly canoeing team or something because when i was registering my IC number the whole list was filled with S87***** and S88***** people . They must be on Creatine or something because they're like twice the size of me (excluding ponch), sigh...the things kids eat these days.
Worse thing was some of them didn't even bring towels! grrrr! The 3rd Sgt Jon in me would have screwed those non towel users one time jialat-jialat followed by two rounds around the parade square. Anyhoo i wasn't gonna let the excessive grunting and disgusting non-towel ettiqutte spoil my "first post-uni" gym experience.
After a very wossy set of 4xLat pull downs (think very useless pull-ups where the bar moves instead of you) i decided to take a break and get some water. I don't know why but they had to place the water cooler in the toilets so i was sitting there in front of the basin area looking at the mirror enjoying my peace time away from the grunting gym rats. Then this bulky indian guy walks in and changes to what i can only describe as a sleeveless polo tee with a mismatched red collar. He was muscular in a lazy kinda way as you could see the muscles beyond the blubber (yeah it was wobbly) on his sleeveless arm. He started to started to wet his hands and do up his hair (which already had like half a bottle of gatsby holding it up), i made no eye contact at all but i guess he was so focused on Armani fringe that i was oblivous to him. I started to smell this heavy coconut odour, probably from him...now i know i'm not supposed to make fun of that smell and all, in fact i actually like the jasmine variety, but his was more like BO. Not very pleasant but still bearable at a distance of say..ermmm 100m?
He was at his hair for the longest time and he kept smiling to himself like some very ai-yan fella. Then suddenly he decides to do the best gym psyche up routine ever performed in a gym toilet. Stretching his arms wide, he suddenly jumps up, landing with feet apart, all the time looking at the mirror with this toothpaste commercial smile. He does some magic fingers thing and what followed was a very special 10 second bollywood dance routine sans banghra music. Jiggying his arms he half turns his body, pumping his man-boobs side to side while shaking that huge ass of his in my face. left, then right then two more lefts and many more left rights. He ends off in a jump with his hands mimicking guns shooting at his own reflection which now showed a face with a extra wide crooked smile and eye brows raised. He does a "click!" sound and raises his eyebrows again and then returns to do his hair with a straight look on his face. The whole time i was completely invisible to him, damn it was so tempting to beat the wooden bench and provide some bollywood dance tempo. I had to am-chio for at least ten seconds before he left where i started to fall on the floor laughing. Shite that dance routine was damn funny, i'm sorry but i'll never look at indian guys with sleeveless polo tees without laughing ever.
That wasn't the end, I was at the circuit machine later doing some silly looking bench press thing when an Indian couple next to me were gossiping. The guy was telling his girlfriend something that proved my racially unbiased-senses weren't wrong after all.
Guy: eh you see that show-off guy in the red collar
Girl: where? oh that big sized one ah? big arms xia
Guy: yeah biiiiggg... but you know what? He's got f***ing BO man, damn smelly.
Girl: *giggles* oui! evil lah.
At least going to the gym these days isn't so boring like the past.
Furthermore it started to rain and ruined my plans to run my shorter/ah peh route. To continue my workout plan, I decided to go indoor. It's been two years since i last been to a gym and the ponch on my waist proves it. So I decided to head down to Yio Chu Kang Stadium's heartland gym, i think its called clubfitt or something. Its a nice place, mostly very experienced ah pehs and housewives, no techno music and everyone uses towels. My kinda gym, yes i know, it sounds sissy and all but i like my gym clean and friendly with less gym rats the better.
I remind you that the last time i gym-ed was at this very premise and damn it! Things have changed over two years. The moment i stepped in i could hear 98.7 blasting in the background and the place was filled with gym rats. The experienced ah pehs were around but they were out numbered by the large protein filled bodies attached to dumbbells. I guess most of these garang-types were from the nearby poly canoeing team or something because when i was registering my IC number the whole list was filled with S87***** and S88***** people . They must be on Creatine or something because they're like twice the size of me (excluding ponch), sigh...the things kids eat these days.
Worse thing was some of them didn't even bring towels! grrrr! The 3rd Sgt Jon in me would have screwed those non towel users one time jialat-jialat followed by two rounds around the parade square. Anyhoo i wasn't gonna let the excessive grunting and disgusting non-towel ettiqutte spoil my "first post-uni" gym experience.
After a very wossy set of 4xLat pull downs (think very useless pull-ups where the bar moves instead of you) i decided to take a break and get some water. I don't know why but they had to place the water cooler in the toilets so i was sitting there in front of the basin area looking at the mirror enjoying my peace time away from the grunting gym rats. Then this bulky indian guy walks in and changes to what i can only describe as a sleeveless polo tee with a mismatched red collar. He was muscular in a lazy kinda way as you could see the muscles beyond the blubber (yeah it was wobbly) on his sleeveless arm. He started to started to wet his hands and do up his hair (which already had like half a bottle of gatsby holding it up), i made no eye contact at all but i guess he was so focused on Armani fringe that i was oblivous to him. I started to smell this heavy coconut odour, probably from him...now i know i'm not supposed to make fun of that smell and all, in fact i actually like the jasmine variety, but his was more like BO. Not very pleasant but still bearable at a distance of say..ermmm 100m?
He was at his hair for the longest time and he kept smiling to himself like some very ai-yan fella. Then suddenly he decides to do the best gym psyche up routine ever performed in a gym toilet. Stretching his arms wide, he suddenly jumps up, landing with feet apart, all the time looking at the mirror with this toothpaste commercial smile. He does some magic fingers thing and what followed was a very special 10 second bollywood dance routine sans banghra music. Jiggying his arms he half turns his body, pumping his man-boobs side to side while shaking that huge ass of his in my face. left, then right then two more lefts and many more left rights. He ends off in a jump with his hands mimicking guns shooting at his own reflection which now showed a face with a extra wide crooked smile and eye brows raised. He does a "click!" sound and raises his eyebrows again and then returns to do his hair with a straight look on his face. The whole time i was completely invisible to him, damn it was so tempting to beat the wooden bench and provide some bollywood dance tempo. I had to am-chio for at least ten seconds before he left where i started to fall on the floor laughing. Shite that dance routine was damn funny, i'm sorry but i'll never look at indian guys with sleeveless polo tees without laughing ever.
That wasn't the end, I was at the circuit machine later doing some silly looking bench press thing when an Indian couple next to me were gossiping. The guy was telling his girlfriend something that proved my racially unbiased-senses weren't wrong after all.
Guy: eh you see that show-off guy in the red collar
Girl: where? oh that big sized one ah? big arms xia
Guy: yeah biiiiggg... but you know what? He's got f***ing BO man, damn smelly.
Girl: *giggles* oui! evil lah.
At least going to the gym these days isn't so boring like the past.
posted by Jon at 10:45 PM
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