mehhhhhhhh

August 30, originally uploaded by jonolist.

(if you asked me why i posted this picture here today, i couldn't tell you why, because the post below is totally unrelated, my mind isn't working right today)

I hate being tired, i like lazing around and mind you there's a big difference, conceptually between tired and lazy.

this morning i woke up (overslept 3 hours) with a voice in my head. It was my old army instructor and he said these words to me in a loud resounding voice:

"Tired doesn't mean you can fucking die!"

and i apologise for writing them here, but those words meant so much to me, it pushed me to my limits, i used to use it on my recruits so often back then but uni life made me forget about it. Now i feel a different kind of fatigue, the one that mentally drains you, but i know i shouldn't give a shit about being tired, i shouldn't compare myself to others who put in twice as much as me, that there's no point bitching about how little sleep i got, there's enough coffee in this world to keep me awake for the rest of my life, i can get all the sleep i want when i'm six feet under. Tired doesn't mean i can fucking die.